9-2-1009
Wetlands by Charlotte Roche
Wetlands by Charlotte Roche
Fourth Estate £12.99 pp220
An acquaintance once told me about being at a literary party and falling into conversation with someone about a novel that had recently been published. After they had been discussing it for a while, he asked the woman whether she had read the book in question. “Oh yes,” she replied, a little defensively, “though not personally.”
One knows exactly what she meant. There are certain books that generate such a flutter of media chitchat that by the time one has laboured through the profiles, opinion pieces, reviews (such as this one) and diary columns, one really does feel as though one has read the damn thing - although not personally.
Wetlands is a case in point. The author is a 30-year-old British-born presenter on Viva, “the German equivalent of MTV”. (The publisher has downplayed the fact that the novel was written in German by relegating the translator from his traditional place on the title page to the back - presumably for fear that our distaste for things foreign might damage sales.) The book has already produced a media buzz on the Continent (go on YouTube and you can see Charlotte Roche being archly interrogated by an elderly German version of Jonathan Ross) and has started to do the same here.
The cause of the fuss is the novel's extreme obscenity - though “obscenity” doesn't quite catch the particular, pungent flavour of the thing. “Grunginess” is nearer the mark. It opens with the narrator, 18-year-old Helen, lying in a hospital bed awaiting an operation on her infected anus. By the end of page two, we have learnt all about her recurring problem with haemorrhoids, and also about how this has never interfered with (indeed, may have enhanced) her enjoyment of anal sex. “Hygiene's not a major concern of mine,” she tells us. And so, as she lies there, she tells us how she likes to wipe her genitals on the urine-soaked seats of public lavatories, to eat the pus she has squeezed from her zits and to ...well, perhaps that's enough for a family newspaper.
In truth, the most obscene thing about Wetlands is its cynicism of conception and banality of execution. In interviews, Roche has put a high-minded gloss on it, portraying her novel as a feminist critique of health-and hygiene fascism. In fact, its ideological position is closer to the kind of extended whine familiar to any parent who has asked their teenage daughter to tidy her bedroom. Helen's idea of an incisive political gesture is to leave bloody, infected rags in the hospital lift, relishing the outrage of the nurses who will have to clear up after her. In a world where millions cry out for clean water, one doubts that this is the beginning of a global protest movement.
None of this would matter, of course, if the writing were witty or entertaining. It is, however, humourless and flat, with the narrative frequently treading water while the author scrapes the barrel for the next oh-so-shocking piece of scatology: “I've already sprayed myself with pepper spray - also just because I wanted to know what it felt like. The brand I used was called Knockout . . . The stuff really agitates your mucous membranes. I'm bored here. I can tell from the thoughts in my head. I'm trying to entertain myself with my own old stories.” There's plenty more like that.
For all its faux-outrageous coating, the weak and thinly imagined narrative of Wetlands is conventional and conservative. Virtually all that happens in a plotline worthy of the ickiest made-for-television weepie is that Helen prolongs her stay in hospital in the hope that her divorced parents will reunite at her bedside; at the end, Mills-&-Boon-like, she falls into the arms of the male nurse who has been looking after her.
Wetlands was written solely with an eye to creating a media tizzy. In the case of some books that “one has read though not personally”, there is actually something worthwhile behind the brouhaha. Not here, though. Believe me.
January 29, 2009
Book of the Week: Wetlands by Charlotte Roche
The Times review by Joan Smith
Wetlands by Charlotte Roche translated by Tim Mohr
Fourth Estate, £12.99
Charlotte Roche is a literary phenomenon. In April last year she was the first German author to top Amazon's monthly bestseller list, outselling stellar talents such as Khaled Hosseini. Her debut novel, Wetlands, has sold half a million copies at home and is so sexually explicit that people are said to have fainted at readings.
The book certainly requires a strong stomach, discussing, as it does, the narrator's sexual preferences in minute detail, but is it cleverly packaged pornography or an erotic classic? And why have so many people chosen to read a novel that breaks all the conventional barriers of taste?
Admirers say that Roche has hit a nerve, while one German newspaper dismissed the novel as “a masturbation pamphlet”. Now British readers are about to encounter Wetlands for themselves and reach their own conclusions about a novel that has sharply divided critics on the Continent.
Roche, 30, was born in England - High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, in fact -but moved to Germany with her English parents when she was a child and speaks English with a slight accent. Her parents divorced when she was 5, an event that (as we shall see) has had a lasting impact on her life. She was an early developer and became a TV star in her teens, making her name on the German equivalent of MTV where she became notable for late-night interviews in which she asked female celebrities about their sexual fantasies.
If this leads British readers to expect a sensual read from Wetlands, they are in for a shock; the action takes place entirely on the proctology wing of a German hospital, where Helen, Roche's 18-year-old narrator, is recovering from surgery on her anus. The procedure was necessary because of a shaving accident, and it gives Helen an opportunity to reflect on her body in between fantasising about sex with a male nurse.
The novel's USP is a heroine who explores her own orifices with the fearlessness of a 15th-century adventurer; Helen's vagina, anus and bodily secretions fascinate her to a degree that will not necessarily be shared by every reader. The novel's opening sentence, an admission that Helen has always suffered from haemorrhoids, signals that nothing is off limits. Forced to rest while her doctors wait for her to defecate successfully after the operation, Helen reveals her unusual attitude to personal hygiene, which includes smearing secretions from her vagina behind her ears as a substitute for perfume: “It works wonders from the moment you greet someone with a kiss on each cheek.”
These passages - and be warned, they are numerous - have persuaded some critics that Roche's book is a feminist manifesto against so-called feminine hygiene. It's a cry from the heart, they believe, against supermarket shelves stocked with “intimate” deodorants and panty-liners; against misogynist jokes comparing the odours of the female body to rotting fish. But Helen goes to the other extreme, persuading a nurse to photograph the open wound on her anus, boasting about popping blackheads and analysing the smell of her faeces.
There is a paradox here: Helen's claim that she is championing a more relaxed attitude to the female body is contradicted by her pleasure in stimulating disgust. For much of the time she sounds like a young child who is desperate to shock her parents; children have a habit of picking up revolting objects and putting them in their mouths, and Wetlands consists of a series of similarly stomach-turning moments. Helen is not so much liberated as disturbed, mentioning in passing that she has been sterilised; she inserts avocado stones into her vagina, reflecting that they are the only “children” she will ever have. She plots to reunite her divorced parents at her bedside, deliberately reopening the wound on her anus in an excruciating episode that reveals her tendency to self-harm. This necessitates an emergency operation, the graphically described horrors of which sit oddly with Roche's claim that the novel is wildly funny.
What Wetlands has certainly done is to reignite a longstanding debate about pornography. Every few years a novel appears that challenges the constantly shifting boundaries on writing about sex, and in recent years the author of the work in question has often been a woman. The last novel to have such an impact was The Butcher by the French writer Alina Reyes, which shocked some readers because its erotic scenes were set amid the butchered corpses of animals. Last year Roche was mobbed by schoolgirls at the Leipzig book fair, signalling that she had overtaken Reyes in the shock-erotics stakes, a genre that makes controversial books from the past look rather anodyne. (However, the Marquis de Sade is still causing trouble almost two centuries after his death - his Turkish publisher faced prosecution five or six years ago when he issued a translation of Philosophy in the Boudoir.)
These days, in Western Europe at least, arguments about pornography have moved from the law courts to the literary pages, where the burning question is whether writing that stimulates sexual arousal can also be literature. Feminists entered the debate long ago, denouncing commercially produced pornography - the campaign that the late Andrea Dworkin is best known for - and the relentless sexualisation of violence in popular culture. Their target was not the depiction of sex per se, but the objectification and brutalisation of women that so often accompanies it, and a generation of feminist novelists set about liberating female sexuality from these depressing confines.
Some critics place Roche in that tradition, but perhaps the oddest thing about her is that she seems blithely unaware of recent cultural history. Ten years ago she appeared on German TV having not shaved her underarm hair and she still talks with unconcealed glee about the uproar she caused. “Looking back, I think, how brave, what an amazing thing to do on TV, aged 20,” she said. “It's probably one of the worst things a woman can do: it really is as if you are a witch; people want to burn you for it.” If this seems hyperbolic, it is how Roche chooses to present herself - and some reviewers have responded as though she is a significant feminist figure.
Wetlands has been compared to The Female Eunuch, presumably because of the famous line in which Germaine Greer urged women to taste their own menstrual blood; Greer got the idea from Caroline Coon, pop artist and founder of the drugs charity Release, who posed for Cosmopolitan magazine with unshaven armpits around the time Roche was born. Those were the days when women eagerly passed Erica Jong's novel Fear of Flying from hand to hand, joined consciousness-raising groups and consulted books such as Our Bodies, Ourselves to find out how their sexual organs worked. Roche's tireless promotion of herself as a feminist pioneer ignores generations of women who grappled with all these questions long before she did; in that sense, she is parasitic on feminism, borrowing its vocabulary, yet being almost totally unaware of her own weirdly ambivalent attitude to the female body.
It is worth recalling, at this point, that Roche had reached the stage in her career when a book was the obvious next step. It is almost de rigueur these days for big-name interviewers to write a novel or autobiography, especially if they have childhood traumas that they can share with the public. It does not have to be Dave Pelzer-style abuse to hit the spot; the death of a sibling or a messy parental divorce will do just as well. In interviews, Roche talks frankly about her parents' separation, doing nothing to discourage speculation that the novel is in some degree autobiographical: “It's a massive thing in my life that my parents' home broke up. For me it's a very strong problem; somehow I don't feel that I have roots anywhere.” She attributes her choice of a career in TV to this early experience of disruption, suggesting that she craves applause to compensate for something - attention, presumably - she feels she did not get enough of in her childhood.
The most revealing passage in the novel, however, is not about sex but a description of Helen's mother: “Mom's afraid of the natural world and her knowledge of it. She always seems to be fighting against it. She fights against dirt in the household. She fights against various insects. In the garden, too. Fights against bacteria of all kinds. Against sex. Against men and women.”
No wonder Roche has asked her parents not to read Wetlands. The latest erotic sensation reads a bit too much like a fictional version of Mommie Dearest for comfort.
TheObserver
And she seems like such a nice girl...
Charlotte Roche's bestseller may be full of graphic sex and bodily functions, but it's not as shocking as she thinks, finds Sophie Harrison
Sophie Harrison
The Observer, Sunday 1 February 2009
Wetlands by Charlotte Roche translated by Tim Mohr pp229,
Fourth Estate,
Charlotte Roche was born in High Wycombe and brought up in Germany. She grew up to become a cool young television presenter who is usually photographed peeping demurely from beneath a fringe, a German Amélie. Often, she is wearing puff-sleeves. Do not be misled.
Wetlands is Roche's first book. The opening sentence concerns haemorrhoids: it is relatively tame. By page two, the heroine is reminiscing about anal sex. When the novel was launched in Germany, audience members reportedly fainted at readings. (In fact, people faint quite a lot at readings, but this is usually less to do with titillation and more to do with long passages of landscape description.) And yet, despite all this, for a time last year Wetlands was the number one bestseller in the world.
Although its title conjures up the poetic Fens (it is possible to see why the British publishers avoided the more accurate translation "Moist Areas"), Wetlands takes place entirely in a German hospital room. This room is occupied by Helen Memel, the novel's 18-year-old narrator, who has been admitted with a self-inflicted injury. In the course of shaving her less talkative end, she managed to cut her anus with a razor. The wound festered and now she needs an operation.
Laid out on a hospital bed, bottom bare to the breeze, Helen ruminates at length on her body and its products. Occasionally, some oafish doctor comes in and says something oafish (this part is quite believable). Otherwise, not very much happens. Sometimes, Helen is in pain and sometimes she is hungry. But mostly, she thinks, in the great German tradition. Where Musil had a Man Without Qualities, Roche brings us a Woman without Pants.
The novel's basic premise is that Helen has had sex, feels great about that, and is generally at home and easy with human fluids in a way that the rest of us are not. She likes to smell and eat her "smegma". She is in love with her copious "slime". She broods on her "well-trained pelvic muscles'" and her "very successful" experiences of anal sex. She is fascinated by masturbation, which she appears to believe she invented. "I think a lot of women still don't masturbate, simply because they don't know how to talk about it," Roche told an interviewer. Helen is not one of those women. She molests barbecue tongs and avocado pits. And the shower attachment, of course. (Sometimes, I feel like the only woman in the world who uses the shower attachment for washing my hair.) While masturbating, Helen likes to hum Amazing Grace, which does go to illustrate the incredible diversity of human sexuality.
But Helen doesn't just want to celebrate novel ways with boiled eggs. Her story is also a manifesto against prissy Anglo-American hygiene habits: against a culture that peddles lavatory fresheners and vaginal deodorants ("Take that, American tampon industry!" as she says at one point). In this respect - in its stress on the naturalness of bodies - Wetlands is quite German, just as The Sexual Life of Catherine M's obsessive deconstruction of the author's desire for rough sex with lorry drivers was quite French, and Secret Diary of a Call Girl's focus on "shagging" was quite British. Disturbingly, this would suggest we are most our national selves when naked.
Anyway, never again should a true Brit complain about Germans draping their towels over sun loungers. Rather, thank God it is only a towel. When visiting public lavatories, Helen likes to "rub the entire seat with my pussy before I sit down". "I've never had a single infection," she adds, reassuringly.
For Roche's novel to work, we have to believe several things. One is that her heroine's body - and its products - are somehow shocking. Another is that people are primarily concerned with niceness in their pursuit of sexual fulfilment. I don't know if I'm the best person to judge this any more, because I work in a hospital, which alters your outlook. Doctors are forever peering into covered dishes and devising stool charts. Bodies are not disgusting. And nothing is shocking. Stand too close to a colorectal surgeon and they'll inevitably show you a picture of some object they've "delivered". (Last week: a mobile phone photograph of a dildo shaped like an aubergine.)
Roche also feels that women struggle with self-expression. As she has described it: "I was really jealous of the fact that men have this whole range of different names for their sexual organs - beautifully detailing what state of arousal they're in - while us women still don't really have a language for our lust." Perhaps in German there are lots of lovely words for penises, but this isn't so in English. If it were, the immortal phrase "party equipment" would never have been invented. Surely both genders are equally tongue-tied when it comes to sex. We are stuck with porn, slang and biology. I'm not sure Roche has solved the problem here. It's a difficult road to freedom, but is calling one's labia "ladyfingers" truly a leap forward? Is "snail-tail" really an advance on "clitoris"? Some of this may be down to the translation: the translator also works as an editor on Playboy, which perhaps explains the pussy count. "Pearl-trunk", on the other hand, would probably get him fired.
Sophie Harrison was deputy editor of Granta and is now a junior doctor
To bodily go ...
Lucy Ellmann on a book that delves into our deep attachment to our bodies
Lucy Ellmann
The Guardian Saturday 7 February 2009
Wetlands by Charlotte Roche
Translated by Tim Mohr Fourth Estate,
If you ever wondered what you'd be like if you weren't shy, polite, tolerant, modest, sexually repressed, logical and constrained by modern standards of hygiene, this may be the book for you. Charlotte Roche's heroine, Helen, is a wistful feminist creation, a walking, talking, bleeding, masturbating, haemorrhoid-bedecked apologist for anal sex and home-made tampons. She's not without a touch of Munchausen's, too, trying to use a self-induced hospital emergency to reunite her long-estranged parents.
This nut sees no connection between her delight in bacteria (she likes to rub her vulva all over public toilet seats, mopping up the stray pubic hairs and excretions of strangers) and the anal blister and concomitant infection that now require surgery of the bleakest kind. Most patients would subside into misery and humiliation afterwards, desperately awaiting release - either from "the ass ward" or from life itself. But Helen, despite a fear of never having a working sphincter again, embarks on an amorous pursuit of one of the nurses, and a campaign to spread her blood, germs and pee throughout the hospital.
In quieter moments she tends her avocado garden, which she forced her mother to transport to the hospital. A row of avocado pits stand sentinel to our heroine's antics and, apart from being used occasionally as dildos, strike a quiet, restrained note in contrast to Helen's feverish mixture of horniness, confusion, indignation and bloody-minded good cheer.
As with Chuck Palahniuk, there's a consistent - and somewhat formulaic - endeavour here to gross you out. Helen is keen to inform us, repeatedly, that every squeezable, drainable, detachable substance produced by the body (hers, her lovers', or yours) can be and should be eaten - except hair, which she shaves off weekly, and ear wax, for which she shows unexpected disdain. There's no mention of belly button fluff either - but blackheads, snot, puke, pus, scabs, tears, smegma, eyelid crumbs, vaginal discharges, menstrual blood and other gunk are all acceptable fodder, especially when dried to a crust under the fingernails. "I'm my own garbage disposal. Bodily secretion recycler," she tells us proudly. The passage in which she rips open her own wound to prolong her stay in hospital is even more challenging for the weak-stomached reader.
Helen is 18 and still at school. Her previous hospital stays include a bout of appendicitis she faked in order to postpone a French exam, and a sterilisation her mother knows nothing about. She's pretty angry at her mother, not just about the divorce, but about other crimes too, from mild maternal interference to suicide attempts. Helen chooses to see her much duller father as utterly blameless - apart from the way he used to administer sun cream, leaving white question marks on her sunburnt back every summer.
The presence of the parents provokes corny psychology lessons on dysfunctional families, and Helen's originality and ingenuity seem less remarkable when attributed to family trauma. Why doesn't Roche bravely proclaim her heroine's outlook NORMAL? Let Helen be promiscuous, impetuous and insubordinate because she wants to be, not because there's anything wrong with her or her childhood. There's a failure of nerve here.
The novel monotonously never exits the hospital setting. And Helen has a women's magazine info streak that sometimes shakes one's faith in her kookiness. Do we really need such handy tips as a lecture on the superiority of dabbing pussy juice behind the ear instead of perfume? She's good on hospital gowns, though: "Why does this piece of clothing even exist?" Or the obtuse ineptitude of doctors: "Is he crazy? He's the one who did this to me. I didn't mess around with his ass."
Given the outrageousness of her subject matter, though, it's a letdown that Roche's humour fails to build to a Rabelaisian pitch. This is not a beautiful or perfect book, but an enterprising one, and its cumulative effect is admirable: through Helen's all-out absorption in her physical self, her encyclopaedic demonstration of its properties, we glimpse how deeply attached we are to our bodies. We all have a relationship with zits, shits, nits and pregnancy kits: a private world of untold fun. Our bodies mean a lot to us - even the asshole, about which far too little has been written. Every writer needs to claim a bit of territory, and assholes are there for the grabbing. Boldly, Roche takes them for her own.
Lucy Ellmann's latest novel is Doctors and Nurses (Bloomsbury).
February 1, 2009
Charlotte Roche is an unlikely shock artist
The British-born author is hot in Germany but her novel Wetlands, or Feuchtgebiete, has been criticised as literary porn
Ed Caesar
Charlotte Roche — a dainty, giggly brunette with the manners of a countess — does not look like the sort to commit the phrase “rectal goulash” to print.
She does not look like the kind of woman who could write a novel set entirely in a hospital proctology department. She does not seem capable of describing, in nauseating detail, the picaresque sexual adventures of Helen, her precocious, bacteria-loving 18-year-old heroine, who is laid low when an intimate shaving injury becomes infected. No, Roche, 30 — dressed in a demure floral dress and brown penny loafers — looks as if she should be filing index cards at a public library.
If Roche looks wrong for her new role as the author of Germany’s most shocking book — Feuchtgebiete, or Wetlands in English — that’s hardly surprising. She is not easily pigeonholed. For 12 years, she was a lightly famous television presenter on the music channel Viva: a Miquita Oliver or an Alexa Chung. She was born in High Wycombe, but her parents took her to Germany as a one-year-old, where she spoke English at home and German at school. Now she lives in Cologne with her husband, a television producer, and five year-old daughter. Yet her English has developed endearing faults: she says “bits and blobs”, mistakes “screamish” for “squeamish” and calls her retired father a “pensioneer”.
Her book caused a delicious outrage when it was published in Germany last year. Women fainted at public readings. Critics praised it as a feminist masterpiece or denounced it as a “masturbation pamphlet”. Either way, everyone read it — at the last count, almost 1.5m copies of Wetlands had been sold in Germany. And if they haven’t read it, they’ve seen it: a stage adaptation sold out for weeks in the respectable market town of Halle. In short, Roche is Germany’s most famous author. Imagine JK Rowling had written Hairy Trotter and you get the idea.
Roche never dreamt of writing a novel. She’s not even much of a bibliophile: in the five years since her daughter was born, she has read only one book, The Great Gatsby, and its influence on Wetlands is slim. In fact, the first words of fiction she ever wrote (“As far back as I can remember, I’ve had haemorrhoids”) became the first line of the novel — a novel sparked by a Damascene moment in a local pharmacy, where Roche saw the vast array of feminine hygiene products on display and decided to write a manifesto about “how stupid we women are about our own bodies”. Her only plan was a five-word checklist she kept on her desk, which read “smegma, shaving, spots, masturbation, menstruation”.
“At first, I wanted to write a pamphlet, about how everyone has become a hygiene maniac, then I thought, it’s too boring, and I invented Helen,” Roche says breathlessly. “I invented someone who is much cooler than I am, who is much more free and open-minded than I am, who could explore all the taboos. As I was writing it, I exaggerated all the time, and it got more and more disgusting and hilarious.” Disgusting we can all agree on. The episode concerning an incident of haemoglobin-rich cunnilingus reversed my breakfast.
“Well, that’s a big compliment to me,” Roche says, laughing. “It happens that people faint in my readings. They get so worked up in it — it’s either the sexual stuff or the stuff about menstruation. They are such taboos in people’s heads that, when I go there and keep going there, they can’t take it. I’m proud that I make people faint with words.”
So, Roche wanted to shock people? “No,” she says. “It was just meant to be an honest book about the female body. You know, people are surprised by this, but if I knew someone like Helen in real life, I would be extremely disgusted. I would never say, ‘Let it all hang out and let’s be natural about it.’ I clean myself, which surprises people. I shower every day. I shave all the parts you’re meant to shave as a woman nowadays.
“Obviously, nobody is like Helen. But the fun in writing the book was getting all the secret stuff out — all the things women are ashamed about. For instance, with my husband, I don’t leave dirty knickers lying around. I hide them, take them myself to the washing machine. Why am I so embarrassed, even in my own flat?
“The feminist angle to the book is this: I think women, now, have to have this clean, sexy, presentation side to their body. At any time, you must be available for sex, and you can just strip naked and look super. That’s a high pressure, and the joke in this book is saying, ‘Women shit, too, you know.’ I know there are men who will find that hard to accept, because they are thinking, ‘I want to f*** a clean woman.’ ”
Wetlands delivers a robust examination of the notion of the “clean woman”, but, as with most novels conceived politically, it fails in what should be its first objective: to make the reader care about its protagonist. Nowhere, for instance, is Helen described — an odd omission, given that I have an indelible image of what her haemorrhoids look like (cauliflower, naturally). Although Roche argues that this lack of essential framing is deliberate (“In my head, she looks like me”), I can’t help thinking it undermines her greater point — that women are more than the sum of their orifices.
There is, however, a subplot to Wetlands that, had it been elaborated, might have made for a more compelling narrative — Helen’s desire to see her divorced parents reunited. This theme comes from Roche’s own childhood, which was, she says, desperately unhappy. Her parents — a superliberal mother, who allowed Charlotte to have sex in the house from a young age, and her engineer father — divorced when she was five, “and not in a good way”. After the separation, her mother hopped from one husband to the next and from one town to the next. She had five children, and adopted one, and now works for an NGO in West Africa.
During her childhood, Roche gorged on every kind of drugs, was arrested for vandalism and skipped school, despite being bright. She says she “absolutely did not give a f*** about anything”. Her break arrived at 17, when she won an open audition to present a rock-music show on Viva, but her troubles were not over. In 2001, three of her brothers were killed in a car accident on the way to her wedding, and the trauma of that tragedy still haunts her. She eventually married Martin Kess in 2007, and is, she claims, the most conservative mother possible. “There was too much excitement in my childhood,” she says. “I don’t want the same thing for my daughter.”
Have her parents read her book? “No,” she says. “I asked them to promise they wouldn’t. I don’t want to talk to them about. . . all this stuff.” What about her siblings, her friends, the other parents at her daughter’s school? “They all got used to it,” she says. “Although, before I wrote it, I was worried that the headmaster might kick my daughter out of the school because of it. I felt, somehow, that I would be ruining our lives if I released the book. I thought it was going to be an outrageous flop that would also ruin my television career.”
Even now Roche is celebrated and wealthy as a result of Wetlands, she is nervous of how people react to her. “I tried not to read anything when all the madness started,” she says. “If a critic has said something really bad, I don’t want to read it, because it hurts too much, and I’m such a baby like that. I also don’t want to read any readers’ letters , because people see me as a sex therapist. They send me photos of all their disgusting bits and blobs, and I don’t want to see them.”
Roche is also deeply unsettled by the public nature of her success, which is odd, considering she has spent more than a decade on television. “But I was notoriously unsuccessful, and I thought my life was going to be a well-paid job on a TV show that nobody watched,” she explains. “That was okay with me. Nobody was envious, ever. Now people are. I feel like my bank account is public. People know exactly how many books I’ve sold — you can’t hide it and lie, and say, ‘I don’t have any money.’ It makes you go mad, because you think everyone’s thinking about it.
“I’m not a person who can say ‘F*** them, let them think what they want.’ Yes, I am quite loud and self-confident sometimes, but I’m really worried about what people think of me. You might think it’s strange that I wrote that book. . . ”
Well, yes, a little. And no, because Roche is such a box of paradoxes, it’s hard to know what to think of her. In any event, she has not been so distressed by her sudden fame that she has given up on writing. Indeed, she plans to have a second novel finished by the autumn. And, after the success of Wetlands, she has employed the same technique as before — scrawled a few words on a notepad, then launched into the story. What’s it about?
“Well, I can’t tell you everything, but it will definitely not have any anal sex in it,” she says, tittering. “I’m fed up with talking to strangers about anal sex. But it will be a strong subject. And it will be sick, obviously.” Obviously.
Wetlands is published by Fourth Estate on Thursday
28-2-2008
KOMMENTAR VON JENNI ZYLKA
"Blumenkohl" nennt sie die Hämorrhoiden, deretwegen sie in der proktologischen Abteilung des Krankenhauses liegt. Helen Memel, 18 Jahre, hat sich bei einer Intimrasur derart verletzt, dass eine Operation nötig wurde. Und so langweilt sie sich im Klinikzimmer, macht sich vorsichtig an einen Pfleger ran und erzählt von: 1. sämtlichen Analsujets zwischen Sex und Schließmuskelinkontinenz, 2. möglichst antihygienisch eingesetzten Körperflüssigkeiten und 3. dem Frauen auferlegten Rasierzwang. Den findet sie bescheuert, gibt aber zu, selbst süchtig geworden zu sein, seit ein wildfremder äthiopischer Gemüseverkäufer sie wöchentlich an bestimmten Körperteilen per Nassrasur vom Pelz befreit. "Willst du mich jetzt ficken?", fragt Helen nach der ersten Sitzung den nackten Barbier. "Nein, dazu bist du mir zu jung." "Schade, darf ich mich dann bitte selber ficken, hier?" "Du bist herzlich eingeladen."
Ein bemerkenswertes Mädchen, diese Helen. Altersgemäß sexfixiert, aber mit einem großen Faible für weitere, trickreiche Obsessionen. Sie inszeniert sich als Bakterienschleuder: Hinterlegt überall getragene Tampons, damit ihr Blut unter die Leute kommt. Züchtet hingebungsvoll Avocadokerne, weil sie die schleimige Oberfläche liebt und man prima mit ihnen onanieren kann. Versucht, auf öffentlichen Toiletten möglichst viele Bakterien von der Kloschüssel mitzuschnacken. Lutscht und knabbert exzessiv jedes Fitzelchen Blut, getrockneten Schleim oder Eiter ab, das sie an sich findet.
Kiepenheuer & Witsch, bei denen die Autorin seit einem nicht erschienenen ersten Buch unter Vertrag war, hatte das Manuskript über die notorische Helen abgelehnt. Pornografie, schnaufte man, und damit ein No-no für den wohlgelittenen Verlag. Doch die Autorin heißt Charlotte Roche, ist eine der populärsten Populärkulturschaffenden, schlagfertige und geistvolle Moderatorin, Talkshowgastgeberin, Grimmepreisträgerin, Bild-Zeitungs-Gegnerin, Mutter. Der nicht weniger wohlgelittene Kölner DuMont Verlag machte daraufhin mit ihr das Buch "Feuchtgebiete" über die Hämorrhoidenpatientin. "Eine Art sexuelle Überforderung von sich selber" sei es, was ihre Heldin treibe, sagt Roche dazu im Gespräch. "Die will sich stählen für irgendwelche Ernstfälle."
Die 30-Jährige ist seit Montag auf Lesetour, in 38 Städten wird sie vom Masturbieren mit Fingern und Rasierern, vom Mitesseraufessen und vom "weiblichen Schleim" lesen. "Parfümierte Slipeinlagen", echauffiert sich Roche, "da ist die Botschaft, dass man es schaffen muss, auch abends noch frisch zu sein, damit man beim Sex nicht so doll nach Frau riecht!" Empörend findet das Feministin Roche. Der Druck, der hygienemäßig auf Frauen laste, das tägliche Pensum an Rasieren, Maniküre, Pediküre, appetitlich sein, perfekt sein, werde immer stärker. "Ich kann ja nicht eine Entwicklung stoppen", sagt Roche, "ich bin ja nicht größenwahnsinnig und denke, wenn man in ein paar Interviews sagt: 'Rasiert euch nicht mehr!', dann hören alle damit auf. Aber ich möchte fragen, ob die den Druck spüren oder ob die das wirklich freiwillig machen."
Irgendwie geht sie also auch das Thema Übersexualisierung an. Indem sie den angeblich selbstbestimmten, aber äußerlich bis zum i-Tüpfelchen den videocliporientierten Männerfantasien entsprungenen jungen Mädchen, den Shopping-Mäusen zwischen Gangbang und Poesiealbum eine Antiheldin entgegensetzt. Eine, die schwitzt und stinkt, pinkelt, kackt und Schorfe abknibbelt. Ihre Feuchtgebiete exponiert. Am liebsten ins Gesicht von Leserin und Leser.
Doch der oft ernüchternd kurzen Erregung gleich, die so ein Buch provozieren kann, findet sich außer der plauschenden Helen kaum etwas in der Geschichte. Viel zu kurz und vage erfährt man, dass Helen als Kind einen Selbstmordversuch ihrer Mutter vereiteln musste, bei dem auch ihr Bruder mit in den Tod genommen werden sollte. Inwieweit dieses Trauma mit Helens Verhalten zusammenhängt, möchte Roche nicht beleuchten - "ich mag nicht, wenn Leute sagen, die ist völlig gestört und deshalb macht sie diese Sachen". Ihr gehe es eher um "diese Grundidee von Familie, in der irgendwas Heftiges vorgefallen ist, und keiner spricht drüber. Denn das gibts oft!" Das stimmt. Aber so bleibt Helen als Figur seicht - die zurecht weitverbreitete Leidenschaft fürs Ficken und ihr Hang zur Bakterienzucht allein macht sie noch nicht zu einem Charakter, dem man gern folgt, vor allem, wenn sie auf 200 Seiten auf einer Krankenhausmatratze lümmelt und monologisiert.
Das Buch funktioniert also nur auf der Ebene der Provokation: Wie eine hysterische, teils amüsante, teils aufregende Hommage ans Unhygienische. Ein in verknapptem Teenagerstil verfasstes Pamphlet für Masturbation, ein Schocker für Menschen, die Angst vor jeglichen Körpern haben. "Das ist stellenweise absichtlich so geschrieben, dass es Männer und Frauen aufgeilt. Und wenn ich so was in der Ichform schreibe, gehe ich bewusst ein Spiel ein, mit dem ich klarkommen muss. Ich finde es auch mutig!" Es sei tatsächlich eine Menge von ihrer Persönlichkeit in Helen, erklärt Medienprofi Roche. Sie wird einkalkuliert haben, dass sich FeuilletonistInnen, die vorher eine Schwäche für das kleine schlaue Mädchen Charlotte hatten, nun angeekelt abwenden. Das ist das eigentlich Mutige an Roches Hämorrhoiden-Schmöker.
17-5-2008
Charlotte Roche wird für ihren Bestsellerroman "Feuchtgebiete" heftig angefeindet - Dank wird ihr allein von Teenagermädchen zuteil: weil sie die Pubertät zu einem grandiosen Fest macht!
VON FRANZISKA SEYBOLDT
In Deutschland an den gründlich mit Sagrotan getränkten Pranger gestellt zu werden ist ganz einfach: Man schreibt ein Buch, in dem auf der ersten Seite die Wörter "Hämorrhoiden", "Rosette" und "Poloch" vorkommen.
Charlotte Roche, Ex-Viva-Zwei-Moderatorin und Grimmepreisträgerin, schafft es nebenher sogar noch, damit Platz eins auf den Bestsellerlisten zu belegen. Ihr Roman "Feuchtgebiete" wird seit Wochen in den Medien auseinanderklamüsert und von A wie anal bis Z wie Zellulitis Stück für Stück totanalysiert. Was optisch daherkommt wie ein Teeniebuch - magere 220 Seiten, große Schrift, schreiend pinkfarbenes Cover -, lässt nur durch das prominent platzierte Pflaster auf dem Deckblatt auf den Inhalt schließen. Der ist so deftig, dass viele Leser das Buch nach zehn Seiten angeekelt zur Seite legen und es auf dem Nachttisch verstauben lassen. Spätestens bei dem Satz "Ich mache schon lange Experimente mit nicht gewaschener Muschi" auf Seite achtzehn geben sensible Leser kampflos auf. Schade eigentlich, denn wer sich bis zum Ende durchkämpft, wird mit vielen neuen Erkenntnissen über Hygiene und "richtigen Sex" belohnt.
Die Romanheldin Helen Memel, eine Kunstfigur, die nach Roches Angaben zu siebzig Prozent aus ihr selbst besteht, verletzt bei der Intimrasur ihre "blumenkohlartigen" Hämorrhoiden und liegt für den Rest des Buches im Krankenhaus, von wo aus sie dem Leser Masturbation mit Avocadokernen, den Umgang mit sämtlichen Körperflüssigkeiten und Fremdrasur näherzubringen sucht. Ein gefundenes Fressen für die Kritiker, die Roche Theoriegebilde unterstellen, von denen sie wahrscheinlich noch nicht mal geträumt hat. Rainer Moritz beispielsweise kritisiert in der Welt, es gebe zu "wenige Handlungsstränge", und folgert: "Ein etwas mageres Fazit." Ja, der Plot im Buch macht sich wahrlich etwas rar. Trotzdem: Hallo? Merkt mal jemand was? Hier geht es doch nicht um die zerrüttete Beziehung von Helen zu ihren Eltern. Auch nicht darum, dass man als sogenannte Postfeministin seine Popel essen soll. Das eigentliche Thema des Buchs ist der Umgang mit dem Körper an sich und allem, was dazugehört.
Mag sein, dass "Feuchtgebiete" kein großartiges literarisches Werk ist. Die Sprache sei zu "kindlich, zu platt, zu versaut", die Handlung zu "schmalspurig", so die Kritiker. Das ist indes völlig irrelevant. Den Anspruch, ein zweiter Michel Houellebecq zu werden, hatte Charlotte Roche nie, schließlich hatte sie ihrerseits ursprünglich nur an ein Sachbuch gedacht. Die minimalistische Handlung dient de facto nur der Einordnung in die Gattung Roman, und ein Roman liest sich nun mal leichter - und lässt sich besser unter die Leute bringen. Dass Charlotte Roche bewusst provoziert und ihren Prominentenstatus nutzt, um das Arsch-Sperma-Muschi-Thema zugänglich zu machen, wird aufs Heftigste kritisiert. So bemängelt beispielsweise Stephan Maus auf stern.de, Roche versuche, mit "ekliger Dschungelcamp-Ästhetik" Kasse zu machen.Was die Kritiker aber außer Acht lassen: All das ist bitter nötig. Niemand würde das Buch lesen, hätte es Max Mustermann oder der Wiener Sadomasokönig Hermes Phettberg geschrieben.
Vermutlich sitzt Frau Roche abends auf ihrem Bett und hüpft jauchzend auf und ab, weil die Medien nicht genug von ihr bekommen können. Spiel, Satz - und Sieg. Das hat auch Ingeborg Harms in der Frankfurter Allgemeinen Sonntagszeitung erkannt: "Wie schon die Schwulenbewegung zeigte, wird das Peinliche ins Selbstbewusstsein aufgenommen, sobald es formuliert ist." Heißt: Wenn Roche über brisante Themen schreibt, wird darüber geredet. Das ist der erste Schritt gegen die Verdrängung "ekliger" Themen - nun auch und gerade im heterosexuellen Kontext.
Apropos eklig: Bezeichnend für unsere Gesellschaft ist eigentlich, dass um ein stinknormales Buch überhaupt so viel Wirbel gemacht wird. In einem Jahrhundert, in dem scheinbar alle Tabus enttabuisiert sind, "provoziert Sex, der nicht ,sexy' und im gängigen Sinn ästhetisch ist. Immer noch", schreibt Andrea Ritter im Stern. Dabei ist Sex doch angeblich die normalste Sache der Welt. Und aus auf der Hand liegenden Gründen nicht gerade die sterilste. Dass es dabei nicht immer weichgespült zugeht, sollte eigentlich klar sein. Ist es aber nicht, obwohl Sex allgegenwärtig ist. Auch die Kategorisierung als "Porno" ist völlig überzogen. Dass Männer beim Lesen des Buches eine Erektion bekommen, wie Roche in einem Interview behauptet, ist kaum vorstellbar. Wer spürt bei dem Gedanken, wie ein 18-jähriges Mädchen seinen Wundschorf isst, auch nur den leisesten Hauch von sexueller Erregung? Diese - vermutlich unwahre - Aussage, die so typisch Charlotte-Roche-frech dahingeplaudert ist, dient wieder nur dem einen Ziel: Aufmerksamkeit zu erlangen. Warum auch nicht: Je mehr Menschen "Feuchtgebiete" lesen, desto eher kann der hysterische, spätkapitalistische Hygienefanatismus unserer Gesellschaft gebremst werden.
Sicherlich erzielt "Feuchtgebiete" nicht bei jedem den gewünschten Aha-Effekt. Erwachsene Frauen, die in sich gefestigt sind, die mit ihrem Körper und allen dazugehörigen Flüssigkeiten Freundschaft geschlossen haben - oder zumindest Waffenstillstand -, brauchen kein aufklärerisches Pamphlet. Es gilt aber zu bedenken, dass diese Frauen eine Minderheit in unserer Gesellschaft darstellen und dann zumeist auch noch in Schubladen gesteckt werden: Frauen mit Achselhaaren (Ökos), Frauen, die nicht jeden Tag duschen (Hippies), und Frauen, die schmutzigen Sex gut finden (Schlampen). Der Rest schwimmt mit im Strom der duftenden, schlanken und glatt rasierten Masse. Und genau diese Masse ist anfällig für die zahllosen Ansprüche, die Männer, Medien und - last, but not least - die Frauen an sich selbst haben. Denn was als gut propagiert wird, wird meistens ohne Maulen befolgt, so lange, bis man glaubt, man habe die Entscheidung, sich die Haare schmerzhaft epilieren zu lassen, selbst getroffen. Wenn man überhaupt zwischen dem Gang zur nächsten Drogerie und dem Termin im Fitnessstudio darüber nachdenkt. Für dieses Publikum ist "Feuchtgebiete" ein Tritt in die richtige Richtung.
Glückselig sind die Teenager, die das Taschenbuch lesen dürfen, ohne von Mutti einen Schlag auf den Hinterkopf zu bekommen. Mit Hilfe von Charlotte Roche wird die Pubertät zu einem grandiosen Fest. Vorbei die Selbstzweifel, die Angst, anzuecken, die Bemühungen, allen zu gefallen. Dass gerade Mädchen in der Pubertät mit sich hadern, weiß jede Frau, die schon mal einen Blick in ihre Tagebücher von früher geworfen hat. "Selbstbewusstsein" können Jugendliche zwar buchstabieren, aber was es es wirklich bedeutet, davon haben sie nur eine vage Vorstellung. Was in der Pubertät dominiert, ist vor allem der Selbstzweifel.
Und der wird bestens genährt, wenn von jeder Plakatwand perfekte Frauen auf einen herabschauen. Nicht umsonst sind es die Zwölf- bis Achtzehnjährigen, die am häufigsten an einer Essstörung leiden. Und warum? Weil uns Fernsehen, Zeitschriften und Werbung makellose Frauen vorgaukeln, die keine Körperbehaarung haben und immer riechen, als würden sie frisch aus der Dusche kommen. Die Ersten, die sich Intimwaschlotionen und einen Damenrasierer kaufen, sind in logischer Konsequenz die Teenager, angeleitet von ihrer gestrengen Oberlehrerin Heidi Klum: Heute, wo bereits elfjährige Mädchen "Germany's Next Topmodel" schauen, wird der Druck, wie eine Barbiepuppe auszusehen, noch größer. Barbiepuppen haben aber keinen Sex, nur eine 90-60-90-Figur und ein perfektes Make-up. Dies weiß auch Feuchtgebietsexpertin Helen: "Je mehr sie sich um all diese kleinen Stellen kümmern, desto unbeweglicher werden sie." Und lästert weiter: "Ihre Haltung wird steif und unsexy, weil sie sich ihre ganze Arbeit nicht kaputt machen wollen."
Die Unterstellung, Charlotte Roche wolle mit ihrem Antirasurzwang eine "vermeintliche Rückkehr zur Natur" propagieren (Hubert Spiegel in der FAZ), liegt nahe, trifft's aber nicht. Denn das wäre nur eine weitere Einschränkung in unserer ohnehin mit Reglementierungen vollgestopften Welt. Es geht vielmehr darum, selbst entscheiden zu dürfen, was einem gefällt - und dies, ohne dafür öffentlich mit Hygienetüchern ausgepeitscht zu werden.
Auch für erwachsene Frauen ist das Buch eine Bereicherung. Wer hätte gedacht, dass es nach "Sex and the City" noch Tabus gibt? In der US-Serie werden die Protagonistinnen als hemmungslose Tratschtanten dargestellt, die im Restaurant lautstark über Vibratoren und "flotte Dreier" diskutieren. Bei der Vorstellung, wie die Roche-Protagonistin Helen Memel gebrauchte Tampons im Aufzug liegen lässt, damit sich ihre Bakterien raumgreifend verbreiten mögen, würden jedoch selbst die SATC-Damen erröten. Ein Tabu ist ein Tabu ist ein Tabu. Und nur Charlotte Roche scheißt drauf, wörtlich.
Das hat "Sex and the City" nicht geschafft, dafür sind amerikanische Serien in ihrer vermeintlichen Obszönität viel zu prüde. Erreicht haben sie höchstens, dass das erstrebenswerte Frauenbild immer mehr einem Pin-up-Girl ähnelt. Ein Umstand, den Roche im Spiegel-Interview bemängelt: "Der in der Öffentlichkeit propagierte Sex ist langweiliger, flacher, spießiger und unaufregender als in Wirklichkeit." Deshalb plädiert sie zu Recht für "echten Sex, der riecht und schmeckt und schmutzige Geräusche macht".
Dass Bree Van de Kamp, die stets mit glühendem Stahl auf Haltung gebügelte, ostküsten-weinkennerhaft auftretende Protagonistin von den "Desperate Housewives", sich von hinten nehmen lassen würde, ist dagegen kaum vorstellbar. Die backt dann doch lieber Muffins.
FRANZISKA SEYBOLDT, Jahrgang 1984, stammt aus Hamburg-Eimsbüttel und ist tazzwei-Praktikantin.