SEX IN THE AMERICAN COLLEGE
By Ken Dahl
The Daily Universe
(U-WIRE) PROVO, Utah - Sex columns may be cropping up in college newspapers across the country, but Brigham Young University won't be getting one.
Considered a topic of great interest to colleges and universities throughout the country, schools from Berkeley to Yale are adding sex columns to their school newspapers.
NewsNet General Manager Jim Kelly said The Daily Universe will not include a sex article.
"It is a topic we hold sacred," Kelly said. "Our view of sex and its role as it relates to procreation is sacred."
According to the Associated Press, Natalie Krinsky, a 19-year-old junior and Yale's resident "sexpert" says such articles are interesting and relevant because college students are beginning to seriously discuss sexuality.
"Nudity is inherently humorous. The body is beautiful, of course, but the things we do with our bodies ... are plain weird," Krinsky said.
Yvonne K. Fulbright, 26-year-old, sexpert of New York University's Washington Square News says she is, "different from the other college sexpert columnists in that (she has) been professionally trained" and that she doesn't write articles based on personal experience.
Fulbright is currently working on her Ph.D. in International Community Health and has also been awarded a Masters Degree of Sex Education from the University of Pennsylvania.
Fulbright says she takes a clinical approach to her column.
"Sex education is my passion," Fulbright said. "Since many of my aspirations lie in the media, the student newspaper has been one more way to get my name out there."
Meghan Bainum, 21-year-old sex columnist for the University of Kansas, expected her column to attract some attention but not create as much trouble as it has.
"I knew I was going to raise some eyebrows, but I didn't know people were going to flip out," said Bainum in the AP article.
Bainum's column has caused the Kansas editors to stop circulating their paper among local high schools on the day the sexpert column is run.
"While it would be nice to think that kids don't have hormones and aren't ready to be sexual until they're married and in their 20s, that's not reality," said Bainum.
Kelly does not agree with the "reality" of the above arguments and says The Daily Universe audience would be easily offended by dealing with such a sacred topic in a prurient way.
"Our standards at BYU are a lot higher than the general public - it is that way by design," said Kelly.
Another religious school, Baylor University, supports BYU's stand on the sexpert columns. Baylor is a Baptist school located in Waco, Texas.
"Our school doesn't stand for it, and we really don't see a need for it," said Flora Lee, editor-in-chief of the Baylor Lariat.
"The odds are 2-million-to-one that we would ever run a sex column," said Lee.
Lee said there really isn't a need to publish such material, as there are so many other sources for a student seeking information on that topic.
The Natalie Show
by Bruce Fellman
Given the dangers now associated with sexual activity, parents of undergraduates are no doubt calmed by this aphorism: "Sex kills, so come to Yale and live forever." But it turns out that the University is no monastery.
"I have some bad news," says Natalie Krinsky '04. "Your children talk about sex all the time -- and they do more than talk."
Krinsky should know. Author of a weekly column, "Sex and the (Elm) City," that first appeared in the Yale Daily News last October 26, her contributions to the paper's Friday "Scene" section have become required reading for undergraduates.
Natalie Krinsky, a sex columnist at the Yale Daily News, sits under a Love sculpture during a recent lunch break.
The column is a romp through bedrooms and social situations in which the writer, a red-haired history major with an irrepressible giggle, tells all -- at least, about herself.
Krinsky names parts but not partners, actions but not other actors. Such candor has not made the writer's mother exactly happy, and her father, who often hears about his daughter's adventures from Wall Street colleagues who read the YDN online, is "trying to be supportive," she says.
The writer and her colleagues talk publicly about intimacies that in other times would have been shared only with one's intimates. After a column was published last December, the author discovered just how many "intimates" she had. The subject was a discussion about how to handle a matter of sexual etiquette (interested readers can see the article at www.yaledailynews.com/article.asp?AID=17519), and the response was a tidal wave. The story has generated over 250,000 "hits" from all corners of the World Wide Web -- far more than anything in the YDN -- and Krinsky became "The Natalie Show," a bonafide Yale phenomenon.
"I'm really popular," she giggles. "I've become an icon on campus, and I love it."
Well, parts of it.
Krinsky's fame may have resulted in a stream of people who want to confide in her. But confidantes are not boyfriends, who have tended to steer clear for fear of winding up in the newspaper, and not all correspondents are congratulatory.
In fact, some of the response to her stories about undergraduate escapades has been downright brutal. Krinsky has been told that she has set the women's movement back 100 years and chastised for not paying proper heed to the risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
And there were attacks that were far more personal. These hurt. "My first reaction was tears, and my second was, I'll never write this again and put myself out in this way," she says. "But it was too late."
Krinsky has since come to terms with something every published author learns to deal with. "People may have a tough time separating who I am from what I write, but the 'Natalie' in this column is a persona," she says. "It's not who I really am."
Still, playing the part has been worthwhile. "It's sparked my interest in a writing career," says Krinsky, whose work earned her a summer job with Bloomberg News in New York City.
And she plans to be back at the YDN next fall, covering the old turf as well as, perhaps, something new. "Maybe this summer I'll fall in love," she wrote in her last column. Fans anxiously await the tale.
By SARA RIMER
NEW HAVEN — It wasn't Natalie Krinsky's idea. But the editors at The Yale Daily News were sure she would be a natural: She was a good writer. She was funny. But most of all, she was not easily embarrassed.
Now, a year later, Ms. Krinsky, a 20-year-old junior, is a campus celebrity, writing the most talked about column in The News. She does not opine about the burning issues of the day: the university's labor negotiations or the possible war in Iraq.
Ms. Krinsky's subject is sex.
"Girls fake all the time," she wrote in one column. "But why? Convincing everyone in the room that you're wearing a diamond when in reality it's a cubic zirconia IS fun, but it still doesn't beat a good, hard, quality — rock."
In her sassy "Sex and the City"-inspired voice, Ms. Krinsky talks about everything from the Yale man's fear of commitment ("I have been here for two glorious years and I am still waiting for love, actually, scratch that, ANYONE who is interested in commitment to knock on my door") to the finer points of oral sex, the details of which will not be printed here, but prompted more than 200,000 hits on the Yale paper's Web site last year.
Ms. Krinsky is one of a growing number of sex columnists at college papers across the country who are reflecting a striking openness among many undergraduates when it comes to the discussion of sex. The columns include "Sexpert Tells All" in New York University's Washington Square News, The Daily Californian's "Sex on Tuesdays" at the University of California at Berkeley and Meghan Bainum's odes to experimentation and safe sex in The Daily Kansan at the University of Kansas. Subjects range from sexual arousal to oral sex etiquette to bondage.
"If you've been missing a spark in your sex life," Ms. Bainum, a 21-year-old senior in Lawrence, Kan., wrote in a recent column, "adding a good pair of handcuffs or a spanking or two to your normal routine could be the way for you to put the sprinkles on your ice cream cone." As always, Ms. Bainum made a point of adding that this sort of sex is only for willing partners and should never involve pain.
But all this talk about sex does not necessarily mean that a majority of college students are more sexually experienced than past generations.
Jordan Friedman, Columbia University's director of health education, who is in charge of the university's popular health and sexuality information Web site, "Go Ask Alice!" said many of the students' questions show their level of inexperience. "It's not just about `Dear Alice, help me have a better orgasm,' " Mr. Friedman said. "It's about `Dear Alice, help me have a better orgasm because I'm not sure if I'm even having them.' "
Nor are all students entertained by the candid discussions of sex, though there has been little organized protest. Meghan Clyne, a 21-year-old senior who is a conservative political columnist for The Yale Daily News, said she found it offensive that Ms. Krinsky writes about "various sexual behaviors as if she were talking about decorating your living room." Sex, Ms. Clyne added, "is not something that should be joked about."
But with interest in student papers waning along with the rise of the Internet, some undergraduate newspaper editors may see the discussion of breast stimulation and favorite positions as a great way to increase circulation. "School papers are doing more to make themselves more relevant and interesting." said John Katzman, chief executive of The Princeton Review, the college preparation company, which studies student attitudes. And what could be more interesting, said Mr. Katzman, than sex?
Ms. Krinsky's persona in her column is part hip, jaded Carrie Bradshaw from "Sex and the City" and part insecure, romantic and eternally single Cathy, from the comic strip. In one column, she buys a vibrator on a shopping trip to Manhattan with her impossibly sexy friend, Veronica; but then it falls out of her bag on the No. 6 train, and she later decides she is too young for this sort of sex toy anyway. But no matter her subject, her humor is distinctive.
All this candor is a little much for Ms. Krinsky's father, Itzhak Krinsky. Mr. Krinsky, 50, an Israeli-born college professor turned Manhattan investment banker, found out about his daughter's column through some young investment bankers who had been reading it on the Web. (Ms. Krinsky said she had been planning to tell her parents about the column.)
"It's not pleasant for a father or mother to read those kinds of columns," Mr. Krinsky said, adding that he found the one on oral sex "too extreme." He and his wife, Roni, considered telling their daughter to stop writing the column, he said, but ultimately decided they should not censor her.
"Some of the columns are really funny," Mr. Krinsky said, referring to the ones that were not sexually explicit. His favorite, he said, was a recent column in which his daughter compared the Yale ritual of shopping for courses to the Yale male's love of playing the field.
Even some people who came of age during the so-called sexual revolution of the 1960's and 70's are taken aback by today's student sex columnists.
Steven Brill, 52, the magazine publisher and author, graduated from Yale in 1972, and now teaches journalism at his alma mater. Natalie Krinsky was one of 15 students, out of a pool of 60, he admitted into his seminar this fall on the strength of her writing submissions, which included two of her columns.
Still, he said, "When I was reading her writing samples, I said to my wife, `Can you believe this goes in The Yale Daily News?' "
"When I was there," Mr. Brill said, "The Yale Daily News was editorializing for the Vietnam War. It was run by a bunch of nerds."
As last year's editor in chief at The Daily News, Christopher Michel, a 20-year-old senior, approved the sex column last fall. "We're in the business of covering student life," Mr. Michel said. "And, for better or worse, sex is an integral part of student life."
Ms. Krinsky, who mingles with a wide range of students, says most of her generation is so bombarded by sexually explicit material that her columns don't seem so outrageous.
"Anytime one picks up a Glamour magazine, or Cosmo, or perhaps Maxim or Stuff, there is often a cover story about sex how-to's or other typically taboo subjects," she said. " `How to drive your man wild in bed' is a title that always comes up."
Yet, Ms. Krinsky, the 20-year-old expert, says she also believes there is a lot more talk — endless, analytical all-night talk — than action on college campuses, at least at Yale. In a column for incoming freshmen, she began: "You are young, you are hip, you are beautiful and you are smart, and if you're anything like any one of your classmates, you are ready to bonk. You are ready to bonk a lot. Well, freshmen, you have come to the wrong place. At Yale, it seems we discuss sex far more than (admittedly) we actually have it."
She says she gets most of her material from listening to her classmates. On a recent afternoon, dressed in stylishly tight bell-bottom jeans and high-heeled black leather boots, she was at a table in the commons dining hall with Brian Stromquist, 20, and two of his friends. Mr. Stromquist was telling Ms. Krinsky about his life as a sexual exile, with his roommate banishing him from his dorm room whenever his girlfriend spends the night.
"That's rude," said Ms. Krinsky, adding that sexual exiles would make a good column.
Everyone who knows her says that Ms. Krinsky is not the worldly woman in the column. A history major, she lives in a dorm at Timothy Dwight College. She has a stuffed pig and a red-haired doll on her neatly made single bed. There are Friday nights, she said, when she is alone with David Letterman and a bowl of microwave, low-fat popcorn.
So, has the sex columnist ever had sex? "I can't answer that question," she said.
March 25, 2005, 2:55PM
By COLLEEN LONG
Chloe Does Yale
By Natalie Krinsky.
Hyperion. 256 pp. $19.95.
College is supposed to be a time of freedom, a time to explore new things and think for yourself. This is precisely why Chloe Does Yale, a novel by Yale graduate Natalie Krinsky, is so disappointing.
There is virtually nothing fresh about this tired tale of a neurotic coed sloshing through campus life. Instead, the novel reads as if Krinsky had watched every episode of Sex and the City and simply tried to mimic her favorite characters.
Of course, she also mimics herself. Krinsky wrote a sex column while a student at Yale, and her heroine, Chloe Carrington, is a sex columnist for the Yale Daily News. Chloe is also from New York and obsessed with couture and her looks. Her column is titled "Sex and the (Elm) City." She's sometimes confident but also extremely insecure, much like Carrie Bradshaw, a character made famous by author Candace Bushnell and portrayed on the HBO series by Sarah Jessica Parker.
The plot centers on Chloe's life — a juggling act of school, drinking, friends and boys. The book is peppered with Chloe's columns, written from her personal experiences and at the suggestion of others. But she writes on mostly stale topics like "Dating 101" or "when to call a guy back." The columns do not push the story forward.
The largest problem, though, is Krinsky's failure to allow Chloe any solid opinions. For example, Chloe describes her friend Melvin as "the herpes of friendship" and in the next breath gushes that he is "one of her oldest friends." The same is true of Chloe's mother, who one minute is overbearing and doesn't understand anything and the next is her best friend and confidante.
Krinsky's characters are also a bit stereotypical — she has a gay friend Chris who goes by the name Crystal and doesn't know anything about sports. Chloe also has a slutty, back-stabbing friend named Veronica. How original is that?
Krinsky tends to be curt, which makes the novel easy to read, but you end up wanting more meat. While she tries too hard to be sarcastic, there are a few glimmers of bright writing. One passage is a scene in which she mocks the navel-gazing of a liberal arts education. "Wait," Chloe says to her friend, Cara. "You're taking a class called 'Popular'?" "Yes," Cara says, "Everyone's taking it."
Hedonistic college life always makes for a good story, but Chloe Does Yale would have been better had it not borrowed so heavily from standard chick-lit themes. Perhaps Krinsky should take advantage of that Ivy-league education and sign up for more writing classes. After Yale, she shouldn't have too much trouble getting into a good grad program.
Colleen Long wrote this for the Associated Press
October 28, 2002
College sex columnists create a media buzz
by Sonni Abatta, Staffwriter
Chastised by the conservative press and hailed by the liberals, young female sex columnists who are writing about bondage, body waxing, and fake orgasms are the new source of information — and entertainment — for college students everywhere.
These columns tackle sex and its endless cavalcade of follies with humor and knowledge, truth and myths, detail and distance. The women who write them are confident in what they’re doing and their comfort shows.
Regular college sex columns are published in student newspapers at University of California at Berkeley, the University of Kansas, Yale University, Tufts University, and New York University, among others. Interest in their authors grows as coverage of these columnists’ seemingly unending courage makes headlines nationwide.
Natalie Krinsky, a junior at Yale University, pens “Sex and the (Elm) City,” a sassy weekly column that doesn’t dispense advice about sex so much as it chronicles and chides the inability of extremely intelligent students at a high-profile university to forge long-term, fruitful relationships. That and the occasional hookup.
With tag lines like “Spit or swallow? It’s all about the sauce,” and “More than you ever wanted to know about fake orgasms,” Krinsky is more likely to grab a reader interested in learning of her weekend’s revelries than the latest development in herpes screenings.
Her wit is abundant and scarce is a line that doesn’t smack with sarcasm. In a column entitled, “Heading down there? Don’t waste your time,” where she discusses the merits of giving cunnilingus, Krinsky writes with acerbity, comparing the difficulty of giving decent oral sex to navigating one’s way through winding country roads: “Men insist on driving around aggressively down there for hours on end, not realizing that THEY ARE GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.” Definitely brave. Definitely unapologetic.
Perhaps such chutzpah is what earned Krinsky national exposure in various media, including an article in The New York Times, an online article published on the website of The Chronicle of Higher Education, and countless other web publications. She’s even gotten coverage on VirtualJerusalem.com, “The Place Where Jews Click,” although she maintains that she is a “secular Zionist,” according to the article on VirtualJerusalem.com.
In the Yale Alumni Magazine, Krinsky is quoted as saying, “People may have [trouble] separating who I am from what I write.”
Amber Madison writes a weekly column in the Tufts Daily called “Between the Sheets.” She intends to parlay her current gig not into a writing career, but rather into a community service career.
Madison, a sophomore with a double major in community health and American studies (combining courses from the two departments to approach a degree in human sexuality), would like to be part of a greater cause: educating women and girls about sexual health and awareness. Through her column, she claims, she can start to reach that demographic and help out to the best of her ability.
“I have two goals [in writing this column]. One is to educate people about STDs — especially human papilloma diseases (HPVs) — and how to keep themselves safe, and the second is to raise girls’ awareness about their own sexuality.... Girls don’t enjoy sex as much as guys. It’s not fair,” says Madison.
Women like Madison are no longer allowing the cultural disparity that exists between men and women’s sex lives to thrive. “A guy who has a lot of sex is a pimp. A girl who has a lot of sex is a slut.”
Columns like hers are powerful because they allow people to discuss sex on a casual level. They give girls the same weight as guys when it comes to chatting about the opposite sex. They turn the tables on the established roles that have defined the genders for ages. And it’s also a lot easier to talk to a boyfriend, friend, or anyone else about sex if it’s sitting in print in front of you.
Dr. Dean C. Dauw, a clinical sexologist based in Chicago, agrees wholeheartedly with these young women’s humorous approach to discussing sex. “I think it’s very important that we [take a light approach to talking about sex]. It helps to resolve the problem of ignorance about sex, and maybe this could start more people on the right course early in life.”
Perhaps support like this explains why young women seem to be comfortable with taking the reins when it comes to talking about sex. Since no man has ever tried to figure out what a girl really wants, why not tell him — and the entire rest of the student population — yourself?
Madison, in fact, invites both genders to enjoy her column. “Because it’s about sex, guys read it also and hopefully they learn something.”
While not claiming “sexpertise,” Madison definitely claims freedom of speech. But this freedom that she exercises weekly could also be the source of condemnation from not only elders but also peers, she realizes. That is definitely not stopping her.
Discussing the possibility of any negative feedback, Madison says, “I’m sure there are a lot of people who feel that way. I think whenever you put yourself on the line and work with an issue that’s personal, some people are going to give bad feedback because they don’t like [what you’re writing], and I’m just going to have to deal with it.”
At least her parents won’t take part in the criticisms. “My parents are very open and very liberal. My mom actually proofreads everything I write.”
Sex and the single college coed
By DOUG THOMPSON
Oct 29, 2002, 09:33
is a dark-haired, attractive coed and aspiring journalist at the University of
Kansas. Like most journalism students, she works for the campus newspaper, The
University Daily Kansan, and hopes to land a job in the business when she
graduates in December.
Lately, however, Bainum has become the subject of news rather than the reporter of it.
because I´m really kind of a shy person in real life,” Bainum told Daily Kansan
reporter Aaron Passman. “I prefer to be behind the media rather than being the
focus of it.”
But focus of the media she is, interviewed by Fox News, The New York Times and dozens of other news agencies. In addition, she took her clothes off to pose for Playboy.
“I´m not ashamed of my body,” she said. “I´d be a hypocrite if I preached sexual comfort and then didn´t want to show myself. I´d have to kick my own ass.”
Bainum, you see, is the student newspaper’s sex columnist, part of a growing trend in campus newspapers.
Read a few of Bainum’s colums and you quickly realize this perky coed ain’t trying to be Ann Landers. She writes about the joys of making it when your roommate is asleep in the next bed, the pitfalls of sculpting public hair and what to do when sex becomes boring.
“No matter how you get off, make the most of your orgasm,” she writes in one column. “Make a lot of noise when you get off. Moan, scream, cry — let your lover know you´re having fun.”
Wow. It wasn’t that long ago when panty raids were the raciest thing on college campuses.
Yet Bainum is tame compared to some other student sex columnists.
Natalie Krinsky writes the sex column for the Yale Daily News, the oldest campus newspaper in America. Her columns feature headlines like “Spit or swallow: It’s all about the sauce” and “Sex Bulldog style: Myth and harsh reality”
“I merely ask that every once in a while, when you are getting laid, or thinking about getting laid, or hoping to get laid, you think about love,” Krinsky wrote in an April column about the differences between sex and love. “And when you find it, you clue me in on how exactly you were able to do so.”
In a recent column of advice to incoming Yale freshman, Krinsky advised: “So what should you all expect when you get here? Everyone's experience, in the end, is completely different. You may indeed fall in love with the girl (or boy) next door. You may get engaged in the post office. You may end up sleeping with an entire team, a cappella group or circle of friends. To the Class of 2006, I say have fun, be safe, be crazy and get laid along the way.”
Ask an average Yalie about Krinsky’s column and the men will point to her writings about oral sex as their favorite. Krinsky admitted in one column that at the tender age of 14 she and a friend raided the fridge for bananas and carrots because “we didn't want practical, hands-on (or mouth-on) experience, we just wanted to know what to do in case the occasion ever arose that we would have to lose our respective oral innocence and take the plunge.”
Later, she admits: “I am an avid swallow supporter. (Wow. My popularity rating just skyrocketed with the male demographic.) I figure that swallowing is like taking cough syrup. Sure it's a little painful at first, but eventually the taste will go away, and it's pure lovin' from then on.”
Krinsky, Bainum and other campus sex columnists point to the HBO series “Sex in the City” as their inspiration. The series features the adventures of sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) and her three female friends who get laid more often than a sailor in a Tijuana whorehouse. The series is based on the writings of real-life New York sex columnist Candace Bushnell.
Whatever their inspiration, the sudden spurt of college sex columnists draws the ire of those who say the columns of student newspapers should not read like the letters section of Penthouse magazine.
Yet campus newspapers have often stretched the limits of what is or is not allowable. The Washington Post may still put dashes in dirty words, but such words are not censored in The Yale Daily News or most other campus newspapers. And some may argue that censorship of words or ideas have no place in journalism, a profession that so often fights against the oppression of news.
Forget about the morality of the issue. Sex has long been a part of the college experience. Thirty years ago, most young men and women lost their virginity in college. Now they come to campus with more experience in bed than their parents. The genie left that bottle long ago.
We may be shocked by what student sex columnists like Meghan Bainum or Natalie Krinsky write but lets be honest: When I was a horny young man of 19, I would have loved to have met a young college coed whose only concern about oral sex was whether to spit or swallow.
Published Friday, December 7, 2001
Spit or swallow? It's all about the sauce
Sex and the (Elm) City
tender age of 14 my best friend Alison and I decided that the time had come to
master the blow job. Yes, young, I know. But we didn't want practical, hands-on
(or mouth-on) experience, we just wanted to know what to do in case the occasion
ever arose that we would have to lose our respective oral innocence and take the
plunge. Walk the plank. Head (sorry) into uncharted territory. Technically, we
wanted to improve our fellatio IQ. We were certain that, some day in the future,
we would be, uh, tested, if you will.
One humid summer afternoon, slightly embarrassed and rather unsure of ourselves, we snuck into Alison's kitchen and came out armed with produce. Bananas and carrots, we found, fit the bill for our purposes; they were the right shape (more or less), and we could tailor the length to our preferences. Plus, we were hungry and wanted a low-fat and enjoyable snack.
Convulsing in laughter, partly because of the hilarity of the situation and partly because of embarrassment, we kneeled at the side of Alison's bed. We laid a very instructive Cosmopolitan magazine out in front of us, to, uh, direct traffic, and we sucked produce like it was our job. We criticized each other's performance, rating one another on various categories that we had formulated beforehand -- endurance, strength, originality and creative use of body parts. It was like the blow job Olympics, only it wasn't televised, and we didn't quite have a live audience yet. But we were certainly working up to that point -- slowly and steadily.
Due to a short bout with bulimia, Alison could put almost a full banana down her throat. Perplexed by the magnitude of her accomplishment, I asked her to help me with my own technique. It was at this moment, surrounded by peels of various sorts, with bananas thrust down our throats, that Alison's mother walked in. Needless to say, she was puzzled at WHY we were doing all this eating on Alison's bedroom floor and asked who would lick a carrot before she ate it anyway? We had no answer. She quickly concluded half-heartedly that we probably wouldn't be too hungry for dinner. We weren't.
Years later, when I was no longer on Alison's floor, I realized that although helpful, produce does not prepare one for the crucial blow job moment. Let's be honest -- when was the last time a carrot ejaculated on you at the salad bar?
Thus, as Hamlet does, I say, to spit or not to spit? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the sour tastes of a thousand sperm or to bring a cup, and take arms against a sea of troubles--
I am an avid swallow supporter. (Wow. My popularity rating just skyrocketed with the male demographic.) I figure that swallowing is like taking cough syrup. Sure it's a little painful at first, but eventually the taste will go away, and it's pure lovin' from then on.
Surprisingly, I found that eight times out of 10, Yalies agree with me on this point. Especially males. When asked, most replied that this question should not even be addressed. It was a non-issue. Swallowing, they all said, is clearly where it's at. Some even thought it was an honor to swallow (I swear).
"Our bodies have been working to produce that stuff all day long," a pre-med student said. "You're getting some really good nutrients; I mean, we're giving you our best and our brightest."
You're right. You have superstar cum.
I asked one blow job aficionado about the calorie question. This has secretly always been a concern of mine. If I'm playing for team salad, I don't want to lose points with my extracurricular activities. Soothing my worries, he vehemently asked me to dispel the myth about the extraordinary number of calories per serving. Cum is actually surprisingly low-calorie as well as chock full of vitamin E, which just happens to be great for your skin. What a relief!
Despite my personal opinion about the matter, spit is still a choice made by those who take the road less traveled. Thus, it certainly merits being addressed.
Spitting, I've found is quite an extravagant operation. It adds accessories to foreplay: a cup, a towel, and something to wipe your mouth with (perhaps a wet-nap?). These items comprise what we might call a "spit kit." They may be easy to round up beforehand if you know that a little somethin' somethin' might be taking place. Yet, imagine a situation in which play pops up out of the blue. It is not always easy to procure these items at short notice. I highly doubt that a spit kit of any kind would fit into an evening bag during a night on the town (or at SAE -- whatever). Regardless, a purse made expressly for the storage of lipstick, money, cell phone and keys is not about to accommodate a bath towel and dinnerware -- it's hard enough shoving a pack of gum in there.
Aside from arguments about convenience, taste and fat content, there were two rather interesting issues that were spurted into the spotlight by those who preferred to spit.
First, there was the question of sweet things like care and tenderness. "If he makes you swallow, he really doesn't love or respect you." This is all fine and good, but quite frankly, when was the last time you hooked up with someone who respected you, much less loved you? High school?
A close friend of mine stated, "I spit because whenever I swallow it goes up my nose. Can you talk about that? I bet I'm not the only one with that problem."
Actually, I hate to break it to you honey, you are. We are all stupider for having heard that statement, I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
As this is the last column of the semester, I would just like to wish everyone luck on finals, and a very happy holiday season. Whether you choose to spit or swallow, this holiday season, may your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be -- white.
Natalie Krinsky's column appears every Friday in Scene.
Published Sunday, June 30, 2002
Sex Bulldog-style: myth and (harsh) reality
Sex and the (Elm) City
incoming freshmen: I have been called upon, as the resident sexpert at the Yale
Daily News, to bestow upon you some of my sexy wisdom, to show you -- or rather,
tell you -- how we do it, when we do it and how often we do it here in the Elm
City. You are young, you are hip, you are beautiful and you are smart, and if
you're anything like any one of your classmates, you are ready to bonk. You are
ready to bonk a lot. Well freshmen, you have come to the wrong place. At Yale,
it seems we discuss sex far more than (admittedly) we actually have it. This is
essentially the reason for my job. I talk about sex. A lot.
I will begin with the assumption that many of you are involved in long fulfilling relationships with the loves of your lives (read: you are dating someone you went to high school with and hope to continue to do so). My advice: get rid of the love of your life before you come to college. The burden of the high school boyfriend (or girlfriend) will follow you for the majority of your freshman year. You will have long dramatic phone conversations that culminate in a fury of tears and "I love you"s mixed with "I hate you"s and topped off with the hurling of textbooks across your room, narrowly missing the head of your Guatemalan roommate. You will experiment with what is called an "open relationship," which is essentially the most pathetic way to guarantee ass-getting during all the major college holidays. This is of course guaranteed until -- gasp -- they find someone better than you to date. Who knew your ex could find someone more intelligent, well-rounded and attractive at the Borough of Manhattan Community College?
It is when these bonds are broken that the fun can REALLY start. Ladies leave your man at home, right? The club is full of ballers with their pockets full of chrome, huh? Yale has a total of six ballers, and if I ever ran into someone with chrome in their pockets, I'd be out like a boner in sweatpants. Like a fat kid in dodgeball. Like most members of an a cappella group. Bottom line, local clubs like Toad's and most on-campus parties are not the ideal places to meet the love of your life. They are the ideal places to meet the love of tonight. Which brings me to my next myth-breaking point. Girls, when you get to college, everyone tells you that you will meet the man you are going to marry. You, they say, are going to fall in love. You will go on dates at fancy restaurants and picnic in the park. You will have a date to every formal, semiformal and not-so-formal event in your Yale career. LIES. ALL LIES. I have been here for two glorious years, and I am still waiting for love, actually, scratch that, ANYONE who is interested in commitment to knock on my door.
Speaking of people who shy away from commitment, it seems that males entering college are subject to an entirely different myth. Guys are told that college is a magical place, one where thousands upon thousands of unbearably attractive girls who WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU are wandering around in bikinis all the time. Rain, sleet, snow, fog, monsoon -- there will be chicks in bikinis. This is only a half truth. If you replace "all the time" with "Saturday night at Toad's" and you replace "bikini" with "extremely short black miniskirt," you're pretty much on the right track.
All right, so now I'm beginning to feel a little guilty. I hope I have not totally crushed your (wet) dreams before you've even gotten to Camp Yale. So what should you all expect when you get here? Everyone's experience, in the end, is completely different. You may indeed fall in love with the girl (or boy) next door. You may get engaged in the post office. You may end up sleeping with an entire team, a cappella group or circle of friends. To the Class of 2006, I say have fun, be safe, be crazy and get laid along the way.
Natalie Krinsky -- who, believe it or not, was once a freshman too.
State of the Union? Worries over deflation 01/31/03
Earlier this week, President Bush addressed the nation on the State of the Union. He began his speech by telling Americans, "Every year, by law and by custom, we meet here to consider the state of the union. This year, we gather in this chamber deeply aware of
Food is messy, but it still gives great metaphor—11/22/2002
Ever since I started writing this column, people assume that I am a seasoned expert in a variety of things that I know nothing about. I have been pegged as an authority, a veritable Confucius of fornication. So when the good folks at the Yale Daily News asked me to write
Friends: don't let friends cock-block!—11/15/2002
weeks ago, a dear friend of mine was putting the moves on a new jenny from the
block. He was psyched. The two had been eyeing one another for weeks, and
finally, he was about to get the apple of his eye into a very compromising
Ambiguity: It might screw you over, it might not—11/01/2002
My freshman year, I lived on a floor below a group of senior boys. To my untrained freshman eye they seemed perfect. They were decently handsome, decently smart and decently funny, and my suite worshiped them. Early in the year,
You might be swapping spit in front of me -- 10/11/02
This summer my friend Amanda got a new boyfriend. Whenever Amanda gets a new boyfriend, they make out everywhere. Anywhere and Everywhere -- that's her policy, part of her very own "if you want to date me" initiation process. Then again, the rest of...
First Date 101: It's all about assets 9/28/02
"I have a huge single unit." "What?" "My room," Greg repeated, "it's a HUGE unit." I am on a date with Greg Yolen '04 and you better believe that he has a huge unit. When this whole "date" idea was proposed to me by my editors, I figured that...
A trip to the toy store: Good vibrations, sweet sensations 9/13/02
One morning this summer I was getting ready for work, listening to the radio as always. The "Star and Buckwild" show on Hot 97 can be a surprising source of interesting information. As usual, I was not disappointed. This particularly steamy July day...
The touching diary of a recovering shop-aholic 9/6/02
I went to 17 classes today. It was the most atrocious experience of my entire life (barring of course, all of freshman year). Welcome to shopping period. No one, it seems has any kind of pity for me, because EVERYONE is going through the exact same...
Sex Bulldog-style: myth and (harsh) reality 6/30/02
Dearest incoming freshmen: I have been called upon, as the resident sexpert at the Yale Daily News, to bestow upon you some of my sexy wisdom, to show you -- or rather, tell you -- how we do it, when we do it and how often we do it here in the Elm...
In search of good Yale lovin': a 4-year odyssey 5/26/02
Graduates: you have spent 1,460 days of your lives as college students. You have dropped an average of $900 on alcohol per year. (Who knew basement pong was so expensive?) You have spent 1,040 hours studying and at least half of those hours have been...
What's love got to do, got to do with it? 4/26/02
When I was in kindergarten, I was the only girl allowed in the no-girls-allowed boys club. But I couldn't wait for grade school, because all the boys were cuter there. Plus THEY didn't play with themselves in public. And when I was in fifth grade, I...
Sex in the spring, ex in the fall 4/19/02
Spring has arrived. It is finally here in full force, and at Yale, spring it seems, transforms this campus. All the attractive people begin to emerge. Those people whose pages you dog-eared in the Rumpus' 50 Most Beautiful People issue, those people...
No matter what it costs -- Keep it neat, keep it clean, keep it real
Once a month I get together with my friend Mya. We're not really that close, and most of the time, I end up hurling a string of profanities at her before our time together is up. She's usually very good-natured and forgiving about my tantrums, and...
BTW, I hate Instant Messenger 3/8/02
I am worried. Appalled even. I am concerned with the future of our generation. I know you might be thinking that this is a huge issue for a measly sex columnist to tackle. I mean, one day it's polishing knobs, and the next the survival of today's...
Boys will be boys -- with or without their cotton boxers 3/1/02
Britney Spears is a slave to you. I am a slave to fashion. I love it. In word association games, when people say "Bible," I say "Vogue." Their "comfortable" is my "stiletto." Shopping is listed as an extracurricular activity on my resume.
Heading down there? Don't waste your time 2/15/02
I love Valentine's Day. I enjoy it because people are happier on Valentine's Day. Let's be honest, a large percentage of the population has gotten gifts and subsequently gotten laid. You would have to be the equivalent of Scrooge to detest the sheer...
Take dead aim at your favorite clique and do 'em - no, not there!
As usual, a few weekends ago, at about 2 a.m., I found myself at 21 Broadway shoveling pizza down my throat at a formidable pace between gulps of Diet Coke (as if that's going to cancel out the calories). A close friend of mine and I had just returned...
Herpes will never go away; neither will everybody's friend Melvin
Melvin is the herpes of friendship. I don't mean that in a cruel way. He just is. Everyone has a Melvin. You picked him up at some random party, gave him your phone number when you were drunk, and that now you can't get rid of him. You say things like...
Phase TWO: get myself a man 1/18/02
The freshness of a new year is unparalleled -- it brings a new perspective, uplifting hope, and a renewed cycle of the seasons. More importantly, it brings a brand new me. The writing in my notebook begins clean and neat, no coffee stains.
Spit or swallow? It's all about the sauce 12/7/01
At the tender age of 14 my best friend Alison and I decided that the time had come to master the blow job. Yes, young, I know. But we didn't want practical, hands-on (or mouth-on) experience, we just wanted to know what to do in case the occasion ever...
Vacation strategy: how to keep score against the ex 11/30/01
I make lists in my head all the time. It keeps my mind busy during humdrum daily activities like taking the subway or faking orgasms. So, there I was, last Tuesday, waiting for the elevator in my building as it made its way from the penthouse to the...
Afraid I'll miss your third-day call? Don't worry, I'll dial star sixty-nine
It's just another manic Monday, and you spent the whole weekend figuring out how to turn a drab hand job into a fab hand job (as I was recently taught this week) by using a lil' lube, "baby oil or something". Way to go, champ. As for me...
Manual manipulation: a dying art – 10/26/2001
When I was first asked to write this column, I felt honored. Sex in the Elm City. Sarah Jessica Parker embodies all which I value -- a raging New York City singles romp carried out in a great pair of Manolo Blahniks. Plus she has curly hair. The ultimate sign of perfection (as far as I'm concerned at least). There was no way
Posted at 9:24 AM on Saturday, September 14, 2002
College sex columnists stirring campuses
By MARTHA IRVINE
The Associated Press
Natalie Krinsky dares to go public on a topic most of her college classmates keep between friends -- sex in the Elm City, otherwise known as New Haven, Conn.
The 19-year-old junior is the resident "sexpert" at Yale University's student newspaper, one of a small but growing number of college publications with writers who detail the trials and tribulations of a favorite college pastime.
Their columns have campuses buzzing.
"And that's all right because we're 20 years old and just starting to talk about this stuff," said Krinsky, who detailed her experiments with oral sex in some of her most popular and controversial columns last year. Now she's back for more this semester.
As her fellow columnists often do, Krinsky uses a mix of wisecracks, raw language and unvarnished advice to make her points.
"Nudity is inherently humorous. The body is beautiful, of course, but the things we do with our bodies in the sack are plain weird," she observed in one her column's tamer moments. "Have you ever heard your roommate having sex? It's embarrassing. You are embarrassed to be human."
A column about fellatio triggered hundreds of hits on the Yale Daily News Web site. Some students were aghast and threatened to transfer. "Is this journalism?" one griped.
At least a few student editors seem to think so. College papers from New York University to the University of Kansas to the University of California-Berkeley have started their own sex columns.
Editors say they're taking a cue from oft-read Internet-based columns that openly address the topic. Some also note they're simply giving their readers -- many of them sexually active before college -- information they needed but never got from home or each other.
A recent survey of 15- to 17-year-olds by the Kaiser Family Foundation and Seventeen magazine illustrated how taboo talk about sex is.
Among teens who had engaged in sexual intercourse, only one in 10 discussed their plans with a parent ahead of time, the survey said. About 40 percent of sexually active respondents also said they'd never talked to their sex partners about the AIDS virus and other sexually transmitted diseases.
"While it would be nice to think that kids don't have hormones and aren't ready to be sexual until they're married and in their 20s, that's not reality," says Meghan Bainum, sex columnist at the University of Kansas' student newspaper.
Her columns have dealt with everything from the awkwardness of sex to suggestions for how to release sexual tension during spring break.
But it was a column about anal sex that caused the biggest stir, mostly among alumni and people in Lawrence, Kan., where The University Daily Kansan circulates.
A circulation aid
"I knew I was going to raise some eyebrows," the 21-year-old writer said. "But I didn't know people were going to flip out."
Kansan editors voluntarily stopped mailing Thursday editions, when Bainum's column runs, to area high schools. But they refused to pull the popular fixture.
"Even with the negative feedback, we've never really wanted to censor her," said Kyle Ramsey, one of the paper's student editors. "We only encourage her to write a stronger column."
Others see their columns as a way to boost circulation. This fall, students at NYU's Washington Square News are publicizing their new sex column with placards on newspaper boxes and postcards.
Yvonne Fulbright is that paper's sexpert, one who takes a more clinical approach when addressing everything from painful intercourse to sexual technique.
"I definitely deal with racy issues, but I balance it with matters of sexual health," said Fulbright, a 26-year-old doctoral student in health studies with a master's degree in human sexuality.
The concerns are even more basic from young readers who send questions to experts at SEX, ETC., a newsletter and Web site for teens.
Basic knowledge lacking
"The level of ignorance is incredibly sad," said Susan N. Wilson, executive coordinator of the Network for Family Life Education at Rutgers University, which produces SEX, ETC. and commissions most of its first-person columns from young writers. Kids "don't even know the basics."
From a personal standpoint, writing about sex isn't always easy. Krinsky says students make assumptions about her and pelt her with more than her share of insults. The most common: "You're a slut."
"It is difficult to put yourself out there," she said.
Bainum says she lost a free-lance contract at a newspaper because of her "reputation."
Still, both of them hope to continue as sex columnists after college. So does Fulbright.
"It's just one step," she says, "in trying to be the next Dr. Ruth."
October 31, 2002
BY MEGHAN BAINUM
Having sex. Making love. Gettin' it on. Doing the dirty deed. Bumping uglies.
There are almost as many ways to describe having sex as there are ways to actually get down to business.
It's not just the in and out that makes sex great, though, but also everything else that goes on before, during and after the main event that can take ho-hum humping into the realm of superior seduction.
Everybody knows the basics behind sex -- y'know, men have penises, women have vaginas, it's fun when they get together. But, believe it or not, what you don't know about sex -- or haven't got up the courage to try -- could be just the thing your sexual self needs to raise your satisfaction, or that of your partner, out of the minor leagues and into the majors.
Sometimes, though, it's hard to even start playing the game. Amazingly, still, so many people have been taught that sex is bad, dirty and deadly, that all of their worrying can turn potentially great sexual experiences into real nightmares.
That's where I come in.
This won't be a sex column talking about the same old stuff learned in high school sex ed classes.
Not unless sexual experiences like bondage, dirty talk, vibrators and anal sex were regular classroom discussion themes where you went to school.
This also won't be a column devoted to one gender, sexuality or level of experience. Everyone -- even a virgin -- is a sexual being, someone who has sexual thoughts, desires, fantasies. And it might surprise some people, but those kinds of thoughts and wants aren't that different between men and women, or queer and straight.
So, if you want to learn about some spicier sexual stuff, guaranteed to give everything from masturbation to marathon sex runs an added erotic kick, this is the right place.
If you want to read about the merits of abstinence until marriage, or are of the opinion that sex is a filthy, inhumane act -- well, maybe you should stop reading with this column.
Sure, having sex can have deadly serious consequences. (It's good to keep in mind that contraceptives, personal responsibility and self-respect can all decrease chances of catching STDs, HIV or getting pregnant.)
But sex, approached with a good attitude, is a wonderful thing. And whether masturbating or doing the deed, adding a little kick to the same old dance moves can only help sexual action go from good to toe-tingling, leg-shaking great.
And since I'm going to be telling you quite a bit about my sex life, you should feel free to e-mail me and tell me about yours, or shoot me a question or two about in-the-moment moves. Don't worry about freaking me out. Sex is my thing, and I know I'm not the only one out there interested in the nitty-gritty about getting it on.
Hey, it's going to be a long, cold winter. Hope you're ready to turn on the heat.
Anteriores crónicas em http://www.kansan.com/jayplay/
Sex and the Uni
Freizügige Kolumnen an Colleges
Man darf getrost davon ausgehen, dass Natalie Krinsky in der Mensa derzeit nicht unbeobachtet in eine Banane beißen kann. Ganz unschuldig ist die 20 Jahre alte Studentin an der amerikanischen Yale Universität daran nicht: Vor einigen Monaten beschrieb sie freimütig in ihrer eigenen Sexkolumne im Studentenblatt Yale Daily News, wie eine Freundin und sie als Teenager an Bananen den Oralverkehr geübt hätten, gegenseitig Verbesserungsvorschläge machten – bis ihre Mutter hereinplatzte.
Die Kolumne ist im Internet 250000 Mal angeklickt worden, die angesehene New York Times hat das Stück in einem Artikel aufgegriffen und Natalies Vater entdeckte die frechen Zeilen, als ein paar junge Investmentbanker in seiner Firma lauthals darüber spekulierten, wer denn dieses verdorbene Früchtchen sei, das so offen schreibe. Vor diesem Hintergrund wird klar, warum eine der Voraussetzungen, unter der die Yale Daily News vor rund einem Jahr die Stelle der Sexkolumnistin ausschrieben hatte, nicht nur Witz und eine flotte Schreibe waren: Es sollte einem auch nicht so leicht etwas peinlich sein. Die Gefahr scheint bei Natalie Krinsky nicht zu bestehen. Die Kolumnistin schreibt offenherzig über ihre Schwierigkeiten beim Vibratorkauf oder analysiert, warum Mädchen Orgasmen vortäuschen und Jungen am Morgen danach immer gleich verschwinden wollen. Das Material, sagt Krinsky, finde sie im Gespräch mit ihren Kommilitonen. Wegen ihrer freizügigen Schreibe hat sie mittlerweile landesweit für Aufsehen gesorgt – auch weil es natürlich besonders spannend ist, wenn das Sexgeflüster in den Yale Daily News gedruckt wird, der ältesten College-Zeitung Amerikas und früher eher bekannt für langatmige Leitartikel gegen den Vietnamkrieg.
Die Elite-Uni ist nicht die einzige amerikanische Hochschule, an der sich das bunte College-Leben auf dem engen Campus auch in eindeutigen Kolumnen widerspiegelt. Zwar hält sich Yales großer Rivale Harvard in seinem Harvard Crimson noch ehrwürdig zurück, doch in den Uni-Blättern von New York, Kansas oder Berkeley werden gar anatomische Details unter Überschriften wie „Sex on Tuesday“ ausgebreitet. Der Grund für den Kolumnenboom ist der profane Kampf um Auflage: „Sex sells“ gilt auch für die täglich erscheinenden Campuszeitungen, die in den Zeiten von Internet neben Beachtung auch um ihre Finanzierung kämpfen müssen.
Interessiert, aber unwissend
Christopher Michel, der als Chefredakteur der Yale Daily News die Sex-Kolumne einführte, sagt ganz gelassen:„Unsere Aufgabe ist es, über das Studentenleben zu berichten. Und Sex ist ein wichtiger Bestandteil.“ Einer mit Hinguckergarantie. Aber haben denn wirklich alle US-Studenten in den Hörsälen oder dunklen Bibliotheksecken ständig Sex? Jordan Friedman, die an der New Yorker Columbia University eine Website über Aufklärung betreut, glaubt eher, dass trotz großer Sprüche die Unwissenheit unter Collegestudenten nach wie vor sehr groß ist. Und Krinsky selbst klagt in ihrer Kolumne darüber, dass die Obsession mit Sex zumindest an ihrer Uni eher theoretischer Natur sei. Zur Begrüßung der neuen Studienanfänger schrieb sie bitter:„Ihr seid jung, hipp, wunderschön, schlau – und bereit es zu treiben. Ihr seid an den falschen Ort gekommen. In Yale diskutieren wir Sex viel mehr, als ihn zu haben. “
Allerdings tun derlei Enttäuschungen dem Witz von Krinskys Kolumne keinen Abbruch. Denn am besten sind diese eigentlich, wenn die junge Aufklärerin nicht deftig ins sexuelle Detail geht, sondern eher melancholisch die Schwierigkeiten des Zusammenkommens von Mann und Frau ausleuchtet. Um Dates mit unglaublichen Egozentrikern geht es dann – oder um den Ex-Freund, der Krinsky plötzlich im Aufzug samt neuer Freundin gegenübersteht und dem sie glücklich entgegengiggelt, sie schreibe ja jetzt die Sex-Kolumne – woraufhin der trocken erwidert: „Alles, was Du darüber weißt, hast Du von mir gelernt.“